Not sure what else do call this. But I’ve been thinking about this for too long and it’s time I recorded my thoughts.
So in most of the Western world, people have given names and family names. The idea is that your family name identifies the family you belong to. Traditionally, men keep their family name on marriage, while women would assume their husband’s family name as they become part of his family.
Well, it’s not working for me. The system is more than a little sexist, as women have to give up a key part of their identity. It’s not working for a lot of other people. The problem is that no one has a better alternative.
Until now. Well, until about 10 years ago, when I first had this idea, but this is the first time I’ve shared it with the world so now I expect this will become the norm within a few years.
People have tried hyphenating, but this is a cop-out and only defers the decision. When Johnny Grubermann-Steinbrenner and Mary Smith-Jones get married, what shall their last name be? Some hyphenate their last names but give their children only one of the names (usually the father’s), and thus the mother’s lineage gets axed in the end anyway.
Maggie and I have decided to give our children alternating last names – the first one decided arbitrarily by gender (a girl would get my name, a boy would get hers) and the next one will get the other name. But it’s still not great.
So here’s my new Idea: Children’s given names should be followed by the combination of their parents first names. So eg. our daughter Clara would be “Clara of Maggie and Daniel”, and the next one would be little “Matthew of Maggie and Daniel”. That way all the kids can have the same last names, and the last names preserve the memory of both parents and really identify the family. The parents could also have the same name – I’d be “Daniel of Daniel and Maggie”. Just as in business you might have “Mr. Smith of Smith & Co.”
Then of course when Clara gets married, she would take her partners’ name and add it to hers, so she might be “Clara of Clara and Terry”. However, then the lineage is lost, so perhaps it would be better if people kept the same family name for life, so I’d still be “Daniel of Peter and Elsie”. That might make it easier for the genealogists.
Unfortunately this is one of those areas where the existing practice is hidebound, entrenched and probably unchangeable so my creative thoughts are for naught. Just wanted to put it out there
